my investment

There are many times when I feel on the older side of the time continuum.  To be fair, I am not a defeatist, nor do I feel old and worn out.  I'm usually fairly full of energy and always have a long list of things to do, always look to the future, always plan what's next, how best to use my time, what's the next thing I want to accomplish, etc. etc.  I am usually not happy resting on something that I have achieved, I am constantly looking to see what "else" I need to get done.  A nice side effect of this is that I seldom feel my years. :-).  Ok, I'm not that old anyway, but I do look at the facts, and I see that quite a few years have gone by.  There are times, when I look back at the years and wonder where the time has gone.  There are so many things that I will never ever do again, simply because they are not age appropriate anymore.  So many things are in my past now, and I can only re-live them in my memories.  Which is fine, for the most part.  Except that, at a very human level, sometimes, there is that longing to be really young again.  For those truly were the best days of my life (isn't it true for most people?).  My childhood, my teenage years, college days, my twenties....I have lived my life through these years, with all the usual ups and downs...and here I am now, with no way of going back.....except....through N.  And so it hits me, like a most refreshing feeling, that I now will get to re-live everything through him.  He is my legacy.  He is my future.  He is the investment I make now so that life might come a full, full circle.

I count my blessings, and put him at the very top of that list.