letting go

someone asked me the other day if N was ready to start kindergarten.  Oh, yes, I said. He's ready.  I think he is, he's been geared up for it for a while.  although he doesn't really know exactly what it entails though. new school, new friends, new teachers, new routine.  I think he'll be fine though.  children are so naturally resilient and this child is especially so adaptable and goes through life in such a no-fuss manner, that I do think he'll be fine.  It's me I'm worried about.  I am not ready for the new routine.  I am not ready to accept that I'll have to let go some more.  I'm not ready for him to face this new world.  More than anything, I'm not ready for him to be growing up so quickly.  Where has the time gone?  where have the years flown?  How do I hold on to something so precious?  and how do I make sure I am making the most of these fleeting years?  they say true love knows no bounds.  they say love is learning to let go.  how to learn that lesson, when every fiber of my being yearns to hold on...