Long overdue post. Since it's supposed to be better late than never, here it is. This year, that day. They say it's just a number, and I truly and wholeheartedly believe that. I don't feel the weight of anything. I don't feel the length of anything. I do want to take a moment to savor the significance, though.
Time. What to do with the realization of it's passing? When time is measured in decades now, not even just years. Where has it gone? How has it flown? And what to do with this realization? Nothing, it seems. Except, to look forward. And to live in the now. To be. To fill up the space with gratitude as much as possible. Gratitude for the blessings. And the bounty.
Four decades. I remember my childhood, my teen years, my school days. The truly wonder years. Those awkward fumbles into teenage. The scary, yet exciting transition to college. The twenties. The decade of experimentation. The growing up into the professional world. The lessons and disappointments. The realization of what the true world out there looked like. The brave leap into new worlds, and brand new experiences, a partner by my side. The quest to become something. To learn things, to see things, to do things. The resolve to achieve and accomplish. The drive, the ambition. The adventures, the mis-adventures. The highs and the lows.
The thirties. Motherhood. A whole new era. Hitherto unimagined, now unfolded in all its frightening glory. The unexplained love. The joys without warning. The sorrows without warning. Life changed, forever. Childhood, and more wonder years. My little nest. Getting a semblance of my old life back. What could possibly throw everything off track again? Why, motherhood of course. Second time around. My miracle baby. More joys, more highs, more lows. Exhaustion unimagined. The pure exhilaration of seeing pure love and bonding. The reason for doing it all. over. again. Zero regrets.
Life. Parenting. Working mother. Focusing on the things that matter. Building a castle, a nest, a home. Carving out my individuality. Forging a path. Never giving up. Building my career. Giving it my all. Embracing the guilt trips, the obligations, the expectations. Creating my own agenda.
Four decades. As I sit and wonder what will be next, I am filled with pride. There is so much to still do. To accomplish. I am filled with joy. For what I have created, produced and driven. I am filled with ambition, for what I want to do next. I am filled with anxiety. For what I know are uphill battles. For the hard work I know has to happen, for the dues I know have to be paid. But mostly, mostly, I am filled with hope. That the next four decades will be the best ones yet. Yes, a very happy milestone birthday to myself.
Time. What to do with the realization of it's passing? When time is measured in decades now, not even just years. Where has it gone? How has it flown? And what to do with this realization? Nothing, it seems. Except, to look forward. And to live in the now. To be. To fill up the space with gratitude as much as possible. Gratitude for the blessings. And the bounty.
Four decades. I remember my childhood, my teen years, my school days. The truly wonder years. Those awkward fumbles into teenage. The scary, yet exciting transition to college. The twenties. The decade of experimentation. The growing up into the professional world. The lessons and disappointments. The realization of what the true world out there looked like. The brave leap into new worlds, and brand new experiences, a partner by my side. The quest to become something. To learn things, to see things, to do things. The resolve to achieve and accomplish. The drive, the ambition. The adventures, the mis-adventures. The highs and the lows.
The thirties. Motherhood. A whole new era. Hitherto unimagined, now unfolded in all its frightening glory. The unexplained love. The joys without warning. The sorrows without warning. Life changed, forever. Childhood, and more wonder years. My little nest. Getting a semblance of my old life back. What could possibly throw everything off track again? Why, motherhood of course. Second time around. My miracle baby. More joys, more highs, more lows. Exhaustion unimagined. The pure exhilaration of seeing pure love and bonding. The reason for doing it all. over. again. Zero regrets.
Life. Parenting. Working mother. Focusing on the things that matter. Building a castle, a nest, a home. Carving out my individuality. Forging a path. Never giving up. Building my career. Giving it my all. Embracing the guilt trips, the obligations, the expectations. Creating my own agenda.
Four decades. As I sit and wonder what will be next, I am filled with pride. There is so much to still do. To accomplish. I am filled with joy. For what I have created, produced and driven. I am filled with ambition, for what I want to do next. I am filled with anxiety. For what I know are uphill battles. For the hard work I know has to happen, for the dues I know have to be paid. But mostly, mostly, I am filled with hope. That the next four decades will be the best ones yet. Yes, a very happy milestone birthday to myself.
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