Not been looking forward to this week at all.  I know it will be tough on me, but it will be tougher on N.  In my mind, I know why this needs to be done, and that he will be better off because of it.  But how do I untie that knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.  Thank God, I am not alone going through this.  And as for my baby, he's the bravest little one there ever could be, so he'll get through this just fine. :-)

Having said that, my resilience and strength as a mother will surely be tested this week.