Happy New Year

Take a moment to reflect...

Did you stand up for what you held true to your heart?

Did you stand up against non-sense, unfairness, or that which did not resonate with the values you were brought up with?

Did you take the time to listen to people who needed a sounding board?

Did you give good advice?  Did you ask for it?  Did you take it?

Did you put in your best, so that you could sleep at night knowing you did all you could?

Did you take stock of your body, of your health, and take steps in the right direction?

Did you read for the sake of reading?

Did you make somebody else's life a wee bit better?

Did you look at your child, and see yourself in his eyes?  Did you promise again to do anything at all for him?

Did you tell your parents you loved them?

Did you show your husband/wife how much you loved them?

Did you learn to cook something new?

Did you welcome a friend into your home?

Did you realize how important your family is to you?

Did you find something at work that made you want to go there every morning?

Did you take a long walk on the beach?

Did you stop and smell the flowers?

Did you breathe deeply, and let the breath be the pulse of your mind and your heart?

Did you smile and laugh sometimes for no reason?

Did you see the sunrise or the sunset and think how insignificant you are in the grander splendour of this universe?

Did you count your blessings?

Did you say "Thanks"?

Did you love?

Did you occasionally at least think of your life as a gift...?

If you did some or most or all of these this year, it must have been a fantastic year for you in total. 

If not, then today is the day you have a chance to resolve to do them in this coming new year :-)

Happy New 2011!!!

Takes all kinds

I am trying to understand.  What is it?  The need to be different?  Always, different from everyone else? A rebellion against the ordinary?  Why, though?  And after all these years, no less!  The necessity to move along in circles that look condescendingly almost upon the rest of society that leads such ordinary, un-interesting, "usual" lives? 

It hurts my brain to go through all the material.  To read the stuff that is written with the design to appear uber-intellectual, uber-opinionated....so "open" about everything, all the viewpoints, the arguments, the "know-it-all-ness", the non-sense.  Uber-annoying is what it is.  Coming to recall, that's how it was, all those years ago too...

Guess it takes all kinds.  That's all I can say.  Just didnt think it would be this kind.  Ever.

And this is where we are...

Today has been unbelievably eye-opening for me.  I am still internalizing what I have learned.  It will take a while - to fully absorb it, and to reflect on it, and to come to terms with it.  Look at this life.  Look at the different places it takes us.  Each of us.  Everyone of us.  Today once again, I am being forced to put my life in the perspective of the grander scheme of things.  The grander scheme of people...from my present and my past.  But especially my past.  Look at their life.  People from my past.  I have not been in touch with them.  They have not been in touch with me.  I know my life because I look at it - everyday.  But today I got to look at their life.  And I am still grasping at what I have learnt.

How much time we spend dwelling on ourselves and who we are.  And all the time, things are happening to and with people all around us.  People from our present, and people from our past.  Especially people from our past.  And this is where they are, today.  And this is who they are, today.  And I am amazed and in disbelief.

For one thing, I will feel very differently about many things from this moment onwards.  For sure.

que sera sera

I know that Today is what matters, since the past is over and the future is not ours yet...

But again, is it so wrong to dream about the future, plan for it, and work towards it...so that if and when it does come to us, we can hope for that contentment we strive so hard for?  Isn't that what we all want....a more content future than today....isn't it?

My Pillar...

Today, as on a million occasions before, you inspired me, and comforted my anxious mind.  Your wisdom, your patience, your strength and your faith in me always serve to keep me grounded.  How I wish I could be with you right now.  How I wish we could go on a long walk together, and talk about everything, share stories, and jokes.  How I wish I could see you today - the quiet strength in your eyes, the eternal optimism of your soul....but for now, I have to be content to listen to your voice.  To listen to your advice.  To confide in you, and let your experience and words of wisdom wash over my doubts and questioning mind.  You are my pillar of support, always always have been.  You are my role model.  Waiting to see you...soon.  Love you lots, Pappa...

Dancing with my baby

I believe it now.  That those moments of sheer joy are the ones that utlimately define life.  Sometime ago someone tried to convince me that there is ultimately no one thing that is magical about life.  No one monumental thing will change it, or transform it, or be the cause of happiness or joy.  We can wait and wait for that "big" moment to change things, to make things "better" or to open our eyes and minds.  We will likely wait for ever.  Or a really really long time at least.  In the mean time, the years will roll by, and things will pass.  Life actually, is simply the sum total of a million little things that happen or you make happen along the way.  The sum total of little things.  Little things.  Like dancing with my baby.  He runs to the music system and switches it on.  He knows which button will turn on the channel he loves.  The channel that plays the liveliest, most upbeat music.  The songs that make you want to move to the beat.  And then he starts to dance.  Jumps up and down and does his version of snapping his fingers.  Swirls around and squeals in delight.  And then he looks at me with sheer and complete joy in his eyes.  The biggest of grins spread across his face.  And I have no choice but to join him.  To dance with him.  And I feel the incredible joy that makes my heart soar.  And I never want the moment to end...

Of trips, and old friends and Mickey and Minnie...

It's been a really busy couple of months...not the usual-usual, but other things thrown in as well....nice things :-)....catching up with friends in town...Halloween...N dressed as a chimp...not that he needs a costume!....Diwali night....lighting diyas....little baby boys in kurtas...delightful!....Thanksgiving....trip to the Big Apple....catching up with friends after so long....so nice....NY is a truly awesome city...back to our suburban abode...winter sets in...wrapping up a ton of things at work...planning a trip away from the cold...the Sunshine State beckons...again.....unexpected trip in between to meet an old old friend....more catching up....back home...its snowing now!....and finally off to the south...beaches, and gators, sunshine and spa.....Lion Country Safari...the rhino and the giraffes took the cake!....visit to dear uncle and aunt's place, where N was spoilt thoroughly again...then off to see giraffes, and turtles from glass-bottom boats...and of course, Mickey and Minnie and Donald for good measure....roller-coasters and trains and gizmos and things.....certain people didnt want the fun to end.....
Back home now, and a few more days before the new year rolls in.....hmmm...

Letting go

How do you let go...of that memory, of the joy that grips the heart when you recall that memory, of the regret...how do you let go of the notion of what it could have meant.  Of what it would be like.  And how do you leave it behind and make your way forward?  Do you let go of all of it? Cold turkey?  Or do you hang on by the last threads of the memories that make it bearable.  Because the first lets you make a clean break and start afresh without looking backwards, and the second lets you be yourself again - for a brief, exhilarating moment longer...

Wint(e)rials

Pretty though this winter is - NOT fun when flights get delayed, plans go awry and you're far from home.  I finally land in the airport and find my way on the bus to the parking lot where my car is parked.  To find that it is covered with the white stuff.  Luckily it is still soft (and quite beautiful).  So I have to find my cleaner and remove it from all the windows, etc.  To do this, I have to remove my glove to hold the damn thing.  A few minutes is all it takes, but by now my fingers have frozen completely, and pain takes over.  I jump into the car, feet are wet and cold.  Car is freezing.  With great difficulty I manage to pay the parking attendant.  Unbelievably, my window doesn't roll up.  Looks like some issue because of the cold.  I am desperate.  There is no way I can drive back 30 miles in the snow with an open window.  I pull and shove and bang and knock, and finally the thing manages to roll up and close.  Thank the Lord!  I finally get out of there and on the road back home.  My fingers are seriously hurting now and I worry about frost bite.  And lo and behold, I am greeted by horrendous traffic - commuters delayed by the weather.  After a couple of hours I finally made it home, thankful for its warmth and to see my family.  What a day!
Its OK though.  It teaches you to be patient. :-)

Winter is upon us

I woke up this morning to see a thin layer of white on the grass and the driveway and the roof tops.  The first snow of the season.  Well, the first time really was last Friday, but those were flurries.  Really, really pretty.

The degree to which you feel cold and miserable is dependent on a number of factors, and has mostly nothing to do with the actual temperature.  There's humidity.  And there's wind.  Oh, the wind.  And it amazes me how my frame of reference has changed completely.  I am a seasoned east-coaster now.  Totally know how to deal with the winter now, after all these years.  I know how to dress, and what to do. 

Dont get me wrong - it can get pretty miserable at times.  Especially if those winds are blowing.  However, that is not at all all the time.  In a really different way, this winter is actually quite beautiful.  The first snows are amazing.  The chill in the air can be cleansing. 

Many times, in the next few months, all I will want to do is huddle indoors, under a razai probably and drink some hot chai.  But there will also be many times, when I will go outside, and take deep breaths of the cold air, feel that crazy invigoration, maybe step through some soft white snow, pull that thick jacket closer around me, and trod on....

Ah, Love :-)

The distance, it has always been the biggest pain to deal with.  In time, I accepted it, and moved on with my life.  In time, and time does have this way of helping you deal with things, I made it work out somehow.  This time, though, I was just about unable to come to terms with it.  I should have been there.  I should have.  I could not.  I know he understands.  I know that.  Later, when I saw them together, my heart melted, and my eyes teared up.  Love has a way of easing the pain.  From all sides.  And love, there is plenty of that, now!!

On the flip side, the countdown has begun.  I cannot wait. :-)))))

A little perspective

And then there is perspective.  You think you are having a tough day, a really tough week, and something happens to that one person that puts a completely new spin on the words "Bad Luck".  Added to that, its outright galling how people behave towards other human beings.  Its unbelievable how somethings happen where you least expect them to happen, and its even more unbelievable how they turn out to happen.  And there is a squeeze around the heart, and a churning of the stomach when you hear the details.  And suddenly all your stress has completely paled in comparison.  A little perspective is always a good thing, at the unfortunate cost of someone else.

Really wish this world was a better place.

Hmmm

Sometimes, the thing that you dread the most ends up coming your way.  You do your best to avoid it, to mitigate it, to deny it, and to run away from it.  You kick up a fuss, you stress to no end, and you try every trick in the book to keep it from tarnishing the balance in your life that you work so hard to keep.  In the end, it creeps up on you and shows you who is boss. 
:(((

And also, when its right there in your face, and you have no choice but to accept it, you find a way to deal with it.  And you realize that you were made of stronger stuff than you thought.  You grit your teeth and get through it, and suddenly, just like that, you are on the other side.

Ah, the resilience of the human spirit.

Lessons to learn...

Today more than ever, I wonder why I cannot be more like him.  My propensity to take on the I-need-to-carry-the-world-on-my-shoulders attitude is downright depressing.  I look at him, and I see not just innocence- pure, unadulterated and refreshing always, but also the unwillingness to be bogged down, to dwell on the immediate, to always always be positive, enthusiastic and eager.  I see him go down, and he gets up, dusts himself off and picks up where he left off.  He learns not to make the same mistake again.  He doesn't let the piddly nagging pain or fear bring down his resolve to keep going...I cant describe how much it fascinates me!  Is it in his wiring, I ask - to be like that, to be so strong, to be so pure, and full of joy and positive energy?
Today more than ever, I see I have so much to learn from him....

Colours of the season

Reds, yellows, oranges and in-betweens...I LOVE Fall around here.  One of the best places to be on the planet this time of the year - the east coast of this great land.  The colours always take my breath away.  Love,love, love it.  Truly inspires me.  Nature, seriously....