shop-o-phobia

N now officially has shop-o-phobia.  P claims it comes from him.  I believe that.  Until recently, the little child used to willingly come anywhere.  Any outing offered an opportunity for entertainment.  Adventure even.  Until now.  And it makes me sad.  In any case, when I announced we were going to Kohls, I get a tantrum in return.

Me: C'mon N, put on your shoes.  We're going to Kohls.
N: I don't wanna go to Kohls!!
Me: Please N, hurry up.  We have to go.  I'm going to buy you new shoes.
N: I don't want new shoes.
Me: Ok, then I wont buy them.  But we're going now, so HURRY Up!!!
N: I'm not coming.  You go by yourself.
Me: What are you going to do then?
N: I'll stay at home and play with my cars
Me: But you cant stay by yourself.
N: Why?
Me: Because its not safe.
N: Why?
Me: Because you're a kid, and kids need adults to stay with them?
N: Why?
Me: Because that's how everyone does it.
N: Why?
Me: Because I said so. Now, are you going to get ready or not?
N: No Mamma, I can be here by myself.
Me: No you cant. I just told you, you wont be safe by yourself.
N: No Mamma. I will be.  If I'm not safe, I'll call 9-1-1. (Triumphant grin)

fastpoke

Speed Demon N is obsessed with the speedometer while driving (indeed he is obsessed with being fast with everything.  He hates being a "slowpoke").  Go Faster Baba, Go faster Mamma, is the constant order from the backseat.  From where he sits, he can see the needle and numbers.  So, today, he and Dad are driving at a mere 50 MPH on Fairfax County Parkway and the tyke asks to go at 60.  No, sorry.  Can you go 80 then?  90?  100?  Actually I want you to go at 120.  Dad replies that if he does that, the cop will take them both to jail.  Speed Demon is now wide-eyed and wants to know what the cop will do if they went at 140.  Dad scratches his head and tells him at 140, they will both be taken to jail and not be given any food, only water.  "Only water???!!!!!!" asks the little rascal incredulously.  "What about juice?!!"

As good as we've gotten at answering a thousand questions about anything and everything, my son still has the ability to leave us speechless every now and then!!