Negativity, arghh

Nothing puts me off as much as negativity and pessimism from interactions with people.  Such people drain me of energy so quickly that I wish with all my heart that I had not even interacted with them in the first place.  The length of the interaction is immaterial.  A couple of minutes is all it takes sometimes for me to get super pissed off.  I have to will myself to let the negativity in through one ear and right out through the other.  Why do people do this to others? Granted different people have different things going on in their lives, and granted that different people have different ways of dealing with their issues.  But how can they assume that being negative with others, about others, and to others will help them in any possible way???? Nothing comes out of being negative people!! 

And just to clarify - there is a difference between having a bad day or a bad week, and letting off steam or looking for solutions and help AND complaining and whining all the time.  OK, so life is not fair (if the problem is really "life" and not all the choices you made in the first place).  But really, is being negative all the time going to get you anything?

Of course, at the other extreme are people who are striving every second to be optimistic.  Its pathetic to see the forced cheer, false positivism, and fake enthusiasm spewing forth.  Ask them how they have been, and the answer is a loud, over-amplified "FANTASTIC".  Which is also fine once in a while, but not every single time, every single day.  These people are always "on top of things", "having a great day", or "kicking butt" at whatever they are doing.  Come on, seriously??  Just because they are constantly announcing how great they are, does not at ALL mean that they are.

I for one, do not like spending too much time with either category.  All of us have to be more balanced.  Be more positive in your thoughts and actions.  But throw in a generous doses of reality into life's issues.  And for heaven's sake, do not be negative all the time - with yourself or with others.  Because pretty soon, they will not want you to bring them down every time you talk to them.  And they will just find reasons to stay out of your way.

Happy Republic Day

Happy Republic Day to all.  Memories: celebrating in school. We always had a holiday, but I was a girl guide, and in the NCC after that and so we always attended early in the morning, all smart and alert in our ironed uniforms.  we did the drill, and some chief guest would hoist the flag, we would sing the anthem, and someone distributed sweets and we ate them and went back home to joyously spend the rest of the holiday.

after those school years, the colony always had a flag hoisting ceremony in one of the empty plots. i would be surprised, but most of the colony jantha would actually show up for this and the Independence Day ceremony.  Some local politician would show up, give a speech.  Some appointed resident would sing some songs (I think one year it was me and someone else, if I recall, and we sang some desh-bhakthi song, it turned out pretty well). Then the national anthem of course, after flag hoisting.  Sweets distributed and we went back home.  Last year, we were back home.  Parents were attending the flag hoisting, and they ended up taking N with them.  Moi decided to catch up on some much needed sleep.  So off N went with his grandparents for the ceremony.  Apparently he was a very good boy there.  I'll bet he had a total blast (as he did with everything on that trip).

And then, the residents association plans a get-together in the evening with programs from the colony kids...the usual songs, dances, skits, etc...some adults also take part. Followed by dinner.  Good way for the neighbours to meet up and socialize.  Good opportunity for the kids to show case their talents.  One year, G and I did a few pop numbers.  I belted away the songs and G accompanied on the guitar.  Good stuff.

Anyway, I miss all this these days. 

To my Love

You are tall, fair and handsome.  Your eyes are the biggest ones I've ever seen.  Your smile lights up the universe.  You are smart and funny and intelligent and goofy.  Your appetite for fun is limitless.  You are sensitive and sometimes shy.  You are innocent.  You love people and attach yourself to their hearts.  Your mind is exploring the world, and it fascinates me to see it work.  You are figuring things out fast.  You are learning two languages at once.  You are polite with strangers.  You are patient with your friends.  When you give me a hug or a kiss, I feel such incredible joy that I cannot believe it.  You are tall, fair and handsome.  When I put my face against yours, and feel your soft skin against mine, I feel peace.  Sometimes, you drive me up the wall, but you make me forget that in a second.  Your eyes are so huge and magnetic, I wonder how I will keep the girls away from you in a few years! 

You are tall, fair and handsome.  And you are mine......

....at least, until you walk out that door one day, to your own world, to your own life, to your own new beginnings.  You will break my heart when you do that, but you will leave a part of you with me always.

And that will be with me forever.

Blogs galore

I like blogs. I like reading blogs. I obviously like writing in my own blog, though it doesn't end up being as frequent as I'd like.   I still like reading other people's blogs.  Some of them I read regularly.  Others I come across through blogs I read or random surfing when time allows me. It amazes me how many different kinds there are. And the way in which different people write.  Never in the history of humankind has such a variety of expressions been unleashed!  A few minutes and an inclination is all it takes for thoughts to become online print, for creative juices to flow, for opinions to be stated and over-stated, for diatribes to be put forth, for random ramblings to be penned down, for vitreol to be vented....

Some blogs are a pure pleasure to read. Some humorous, some poignant, some touching, some genuine.  Some informative, some inventive, some entertaining.  And equally - some annoying, some unbelievably opinionated, some verbose, some boring.  In the end, its totally the writer's prerogative, so read only if you want.  That's the best part. 

I know of people who have formed blogging communities.  They met through their blogs, and outside that, their lives would not have intersected in any other way.  They go on to become a tight-knit circle of friends offline too!  The power of the internet sometimes is crazy and amazing.

If Ifs and Buts...

It amazes me sometimes when I do get around to thinking about it - how restless the mind is.  My mind, at least. P wonders why I have to complicate things always.  He's wrong now.  I do not complicate - I guess. I just think, maybe over-think things. Well, he is right in many ways, as he usually is about many things, contrary to what my - ahem, histrionics may lead one to conclude I feel.  But that's a completely separate point.

The point originally was about my restless mind and the way in which I play out and re-play out scenarios, consequences, alternatives, and the what-ifs.  Its just my wiring. I cannot imagine being any other way, and, while, again as P rightly points out, this is the leading cause of a lot of perhaps unnecessary heartburn, I do believe that its what makes me me - the person who over-thinks and over-feels, yes, but the person who always looks out, thinks ahead, plans and makes sure that the engine runs smoothly. The person who makes sure intent meets execution, the one who can be counted upon at the end of the day. Well, anyway..

Sometimes, though, it does seem like it would be simpler to simply abandon the ifs and the buts and just go with the flow, even if for a fleeting while. So that the mind might rest, take a breather and let that really elusive thing called acceptance in for an even briefer fleeting moment....sigh...

Cobbler

Fresh Fuji apples+  Cinnamon+ Flour+ Vanilla extract+ Butter+ Brown sugar+ Baking powder+ 375 degrees for 40 minutes = amazing apple cobbler. 

Best to be consumed with vanilla ice-cream.  Optional of course for the calorie conscious.

By very popular demand, made another batch the next day.  This time I threw in Bartlett pears and cherries as well.

Deliciouso.

Of old friends...and old, old songs

Hearing from that friend from ages ago...what a refreshing way to start the new year.  Looking forward to the conversations.  Sometimes, making a little bit of time is so worth it.

On another note (no pun intended), I was driving back home yesterday with N, and out of the blue, I started to sing that old old Bengali song...."Dhithom Dhithom"....at first, the words completely eluded me....its been what? 15 years?  My God!!! And what a history that song has....prize-winning and heart-warming, and a hundred other things.....those days, all of us, forgotten friendships, competitive spirits and putting your heart and your soul into something that you believed in, and wanted to be the best at!!  And we were...oh, how we were...

Anyway, as I was saying....I started to sing....and faltered.  The words seem hazy, but I totally remember the tune of the lovely song....and as I struggled with the first few words, suddenly they came back to me....and suddenly, there I was...belting the beautiful words out loud!!  The melody became clearer and louder and there I was, singing away to my heart's content.....and I looked back to see N staring with mouth open...what was Mamma doing....haven't heard this one before?  And as I finished, N starts to clap, and looks all happy and amused!  Perfect end to a perfect memory.

I am amazed that I remembered all the words.  Exactly as I had learnt them all those many years ago.  Sweet memories of that sweet girl....Thank you Baisali....

Reaching out

Reaching out....

To people who I have not reached out to in a long while.  To say Hi and see how they have been doing.  To see where life has taken them.  To hear their voice or see them in person.  See that they have moved along just as I have...a new wife, a new husband, a new baby...a new place, and new beginnings...

Staying in touch....

With people that I want to stay in touch with.  But have not been able to, for various reasons.  People I liked, people I loved.  People who made me smile, laugh and love.  People who meant a lot, still do.  People who make me realize that life really is way too short...

Search

You search for the thing that you think will make you happy
You search for it high and low
You stress and you fuss and you hem and you haw
And yet you know it eludes you...

You search for the thing that you think you have wanted
For so long that time seems inconsequential now
You look for it here and you look for it there
And still the thing eludes you

You give it time and you give it your soul
And yet there seems to be no answer
that will ease the pain and calm the mind
And your search - it continues...

You search for the thing that you think you deserve
And suddenly after all the time has gone by
You finally open your eyes and you open your mind
With a little help from outside

You open your eyes and you finally see
That which is plain and clear
The thing that you have been searching for for so long
Is right there right in front of you.

Mantra for 2011

More patience, More positivity, More perseverance, More passion.

And more letting go....

Amen.

Happy New Year

Take a moment to reflect...

Did you stand up for what you held true to your heart?

Did you stand up against non-sense, unfairness, or that which did not resonate with the values you were brought up with?

Did you take the time to listen to people who needed a sounding board?

Did you give good advice?  Did you ask for it?  Did you take it?

Did you put in your best, so that you could sleep at night knowing you did all you could?

Did you take stock of your body, of your health, and take steps in the right direction?

Did you read for the sake of reading?

Did you make somebody else's life a wee bit better?

Did you look at your child, and see yourself in his eyes?  Did you promise again to do anything at all for him?

Did you tell your parents you loved them?

Did you show your husband/wife how much you loved them?

Did you learn to cook something new?

Did you welcome a friend into your home?

Did you realize how important your family is to you?

Did you find something at work that made you want to go there every morning?

Did you take a long walk on the beach?

Did you stop and smell the flowers?

Did you breathe deeply, and let the breath be the pulse of your mind and your heart?

Did you smile and laugh sometimes for no reason?

Did you see the sunrise or the sunset and think how insignificant you are in the grander splendour of this universe?

Did you count your blessings?

Did you say "Thanks"?

Did you love?

Did you occasionally at least think of your life as a gift...?

If you did some or most or all of these this year, it must have been a fantastic year for you in total. 

If not, then today is the day you have a chance to resolve to do them in this coming new year :-)

Happy New 2011!!!

Takes all kinds

I am trying to understand.  What is it?  The need to be different?  Always, different from everyone else? A rebellion against the ordinary?  Why, though?  And after all these years, no less!  The necessity to move along in circles that look condescendingly almost upon the rest of society that leads such ordinary, un-interesting, "usual" lives? 

It hurts my brain to go through all the material.  To read the stuff that is written with the design to appear uber-intellectual, uber-opinionated....so "open" about everything, all the viewpoints, the arguments, the "know-it-all-ness", the non-sense.  Uber-annoying is what it is.  Coming to recall, that's how it was, all those years ago too...

Guess it takes all kinds.  That's all I can say.  Just didnt think it would be this kind.  Ever.

And this is where we are...

Today has been unbelievably eye-opening for me.  I am still internalizing what I have learned.  It will take a while - to fully absorb it, and to reflect on it, and to come to terms with it.  Look at this life.  Look at the different places it takes us.  Each of us.  Everyone of us.  Today once again, I am being forced to put my life in the perspective of the grander scheme of things.  The grander scheme of people...from my present and my past.  But especially my past.  Look at their life.  People from my past.  I have not been in touch with them.  They have not been in touch with me.  I know my life because I look at it - everyday.  But today I got to look at their life.  And I am still grasping at what I have learnt.

How much time we spend dwelling on ourselves and who we are.  And all the time, things are happening to and with people all around us.  People from our present, and people from our past.  Especially people from our past.  And this is where they are, today.  And this is who they are, today.  And I am amazed and in disbelief.

For one thing, I will feel very differently about many things from this moment onwards.  For sure.

que sera sera

I know that Today is what matters, since the past is over and the future is not ours yet...

But again, is it so wrong to dream about the future, plan for it, and work towards it...so that if and when it does come to us, we can hope for that contentment we strive so hard for?  Isn't that what we all want....a more content future than today....isn't it?

My Pillar...

Today, as on a million occasions before, you inspired me, and comforted my anxious mind.  Your wisdom, your patience, your strength and your faith in me always serve to keep me grounded.  How I wish I could be with you right now.  How I wish we could go on a long walk together, and talk about everything, share stories, and jokes.  How I wish I could see you today - the quiet strength in your eyes, the eternal optimism of your soul....but for now, I have to be content to listen to your voice.  To listen to your advice.  To confide in you, and let your experience and words of wisdom wash over my doubts and questioning mind.  You are my pillar of support, always always have been.  You are my role model.  Waiting to see you...soon.  Love you lots, Pappa...

Dancing with my baby

I believe it now.  That those moments of sheer joy are the ones that utlimately define life.  Sometime ago someone tried to convince me that there is ultimately no one thing that is magical about life.  No one monumental thing will change it, or transform it, or be the cause of happiness or joy.  We can wait and wait for that "big" moment to change things, to make things "better" or to open our eyes and minds.  We will likely wait for ever.  Or a really really long time at least.  In the mean time, the years will roll by, and things will pass.  Life actually, is simply the sum total of a million little things that happen or you make happen along the way.  The sum total of little things.  Little things.  Like dancing with my baby.  He runs to the music system and switches it on.  He knows which button will turn on the channel he loves.  The channel that plays the liveliest, most upbeat music.  The songs that make you want to move to the beat.  And then he starts to dance.  Jumps up and down and does his version of snapping his fingers.  Swirls around and squeals in delight.  And then he looks at me with sheer and complete joy in his eyes.  The biggest of grins spread across his face.  And I have no choice but to join him.  To dance with him.  And I feel the incredible joy that makes my heart soar.  And I never want the moment to end...

Of trips, and old friends and Mickey and Minnie...

It's been a really busy couple of months...not the usual-usual, but other things thrown in as well....nice things :-)....catching up with friends in town...Halloween...N dressed as a chimp...not that he needs a costume!....Diwali night....lighting diyas....little baby boys in kurtas...delightful!....Thanksgiving....trip to the Big Apple....catching up with friends after so long....so nice....NY is a truly awesome city...back to our suburban abode...winter sets in...wrapping up a ton of things at work...planning a trip away from the cold...the Sunshine State beckons...again.....unexpected trip in between to meet an old old friend....more catching up....back home...its snowing now!....and finally off to the south...beaches, and gators, sunshine and spa.....Lion Country Safari...the rhino and the giraffes took the cake!....visit to dear uncle and aunt's place, where N was spoilt thoroughly again...then off to see giraffes, and turtles from glass-bottom boats...and of course, Mickey and Minnie and Donald for good measure....roller-coasters and trains and gizmos and things.....certain people didnt want the fun to end.....
Back home now, and a few more days before the new year rolls in.....hmmm...

Letting go

How do you let go...of that memory, of the joy that grips the heart when you recall that memory, of the regret...how do you let go of the notion of what it could have meant.  Of what it would be like.  And how do you leave it behind and make your way forward?  Do you let go of all of it? Cold turkey?  Or do you hang on by the last threads of the memories that make it bearable.  Because the first lets you make a clean break and start afresh without looking backwards, and the second lets you be yourself again - for a brief, exhilarating moment longer...

Wint(e)rials

Pretty though this winter is - NOT fun when flights get delayed, plans go awry and you're far from home.  I finally land in the airport and find my way on the bus to the parking lot where my car is parked.  To find that it is covered with the white stuff.  Luckily it is still soft (and quite beautiful).  So I have to find my cleaner and remove it from all the windows, etc.  To do this, I have to remove my glove to hold the damn thing.  A few minutes is all it takes, but by now my fingers have frozen completely, and pain takes over.  I jump into the car, feet are wet and cold.  Car is freezing.  With great difficulty I manage to pay the parking attendant.  Unbelievably, my window doesn't roll up.  Looks like some issue because of the cold.  I am desperate.  There is no way I can drive back 30 miles in the snow with an open window.  I pull and shove and bang and knock, and finally the thing manages to roll up and close.  Thank the Lord!  I finally get out of there and on the road back home.  My fingers are seriously hurting now and I worry about frost bite.  And lo and behold, I am greeted by horrendous traffic - commuters delayed by the weather.  After a couple of hours I finally made it home, thankful for its warmth and to see my family.  What a day!
Its OK though.  It teaches you to be patient. :-)

Winter is upon us

I woke up this morning to see a thin layer of white on the grass and the driveway and the roof tops.  The first snow of the season.  Well, the first time really was last Friday, but those were flurries.  Really, really pretty.

The degree to which you feel cold and miserable is dependent on a number of factors, and has mostly nothing to do with the actual temperature.  There's humidity.  And there's wind.  Oh, the wind.  And it amazes me how my frame of reference has changed completely.  I am a seasoned east-coaster now.  Totally know how to deal with the winter now, after all these years.  I know how to dress, and what to do. 

Dont get me wrong - it can get pretty miserable at times.  Especially if those winds are blowing.  However, that is not at all all the time.  In a really different way, this winter is actually quite beautiful.  The first snows are amazing.  The chill in the air can be cleansing. 

Many times, in the next few months, all I will want to do is huddle indoors, under a razai probably and drink some hot chai.  But there will also be many times, when I will go outside, and take deep breaths of the cold air, feel that crazy invigoration, maybe step through some soft white snow, pull that thick jacket closer around me, and trod on....

Ah, Love :-)

The distance, it has always been the biggest pain to deal with.  In time, I accepted it, and moved on with my life.  In time, and time does have this way of helping you deal with things, I made it work out somehow.  This time, though, I was just about unable to come to terms with it.  I should have been there.  I should have.  I could not.  I know he understands.  I know that.  Later, when I saw them together, my heart melted, and my eyes teared up.  Love has a way of easing the pain.  From all sides.  And love, there is plenty of that, now!!

On the flip side, the countdown has begun.  I cannot wait. :-)))))

A little perspective

And then there is perspective.  You think you are having a tough day, a really tough week, and something happens to that one person that puts a completely new spin on the words "Bad Luck".  Added to that, its outright galling how people behave towards other human beings.  Its unbelievable how somethings happen where you least expect them to happen, and its even more unbelievable how they turn out to happen.  And there is a squeeze around the heart, and a churning of the stomach when you hear the details.  And suddenly all your stress has completely paled in comparison.  A little perspective is always a good thing, at the unfortunate cost of someone else.

Really wish this world was a better place.

Hmmm

Sometimes, the thing that you dread the most ends up coming your way.  You do your best to avoid it, to mitigate it, to deny it, and to run away from it.  You kick up a fuss, you stress to no end, and you try every trick in the book to keep it from tarnishing the balance in your life that you work so hard to keep.  In the end, it creeps up on you and shows you who is boss. 
:(((

And also, when its right there in your face, and you have no choice but to accept it, you find a way to deal with it.  And you realize that you were made of stronger stuff than you thought.  You grit your teeth and get through it, and suddenly, just like that, you are on the other side.

Ah, the resilience of the human spirit.

Lessons to learn...

Today more than ever, I wonder why I cannot be more like him.  My propensity to take on the I-need-to-carry-the-world-on-my-shoulders attitude is downright depressing.  I look at him, and I see not just innocence- pure, unadulterated and refreshing always, but also the unwillingness to be bogged down, to dwell on the immediate, to always always be positive, enthusiastic and eager.  I see him go down, and he gets up, dusts himself off and picks up where he left off.  He learns not to make the same mistake again.  He doesn't let the piddly nagging pain or fear bring down his resolve to keep going...I cant describe how much it fascinates me!  Is it in his wiring, I ask - to be like that, to be so strong, to be so pure, and full of joy and positive energy?
Today more than ever, I see I have so much to learn from him....

Colours of the season

Reds, yellows, oranges and in-betweens...I LOVE Fall around here.  One of the best places to be on the planet this time of the year - the east coast of this great land.  The colours always take my breath away.  Love,love, love it.  Truly inspires me.  Nature, seriously....

I am Back

Can't believe its been so long since I wrote here.  Life and all its various vagaries had simply taken over.  I have missed being here, missed penning down my thoughts - random though they were.

Anyway, let's see if this spurt will last this time around.

And lets see, indeed, if I do have anything to say that is worth writing about. :)

"Unaccustomed Earth"

New book by one of my fav authors - Jhumpa Lahiri. The book just came out and I had to have a copy. Its a collection of short stories, and after her Pulitzer prize short story winner, I had high expectations.

Have to say - I was only sort of impressed. The first story, the title story was very good, and I thought I was in for a real treat. The remaining stories were just about okay, with one good one in between.

I am still a fan of her writing style. Rich with simple details, yet so real as for one to identify oneself with various aspects of the story, the so human characters. Some of the details she adds through out her stories are so touching. It does pull at the heart strings at times. Not depressing, just touching. I like that.

However, I did like the first book "The Interpreter of Maladies" much better. I remember those stories were shorter than the ones in "Unaccustomed Earth", but more varied, if I recall right. In the new book, all the main characters are the standard issue second generation Bengali immigrants to the West, and after a point, the usual cultural struggle blah blah gets rather monotonous as a recurring theme.

In any case, I will still read whetever Lahiri's next book will be. I'm just a fan.

Michael Clayton

One of those movies that I should have watched much sooner, but, like many things, got postponed until now. Michael Clayton is definitely in the Big League. Reviews were great, and the movie bagged seven Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture.

I am not going to describe the plot, or anything else that might take away from the movie watching experience for you if you havent already seen it and are planning to. Suffice to say that the script is brilliant, entertaining and respects your intelligence as the audience. Some of the sequence of events are predictable, yet, one is not bored even for a moment. Reminds me of the Bourne series of movies, especially the last one 'Bourne Ultimatum' and what a good watch that was. And no, Michael Clayton is not anything like Jason Bourne, just so you know. He's a regular guy, a corporate lawyer specializing in a certain type of skill.

Having said that, Michael Clayton is played by George Clooney, who delivers, yet again. Reminds me yet again why I like him so much. Combine Clooney's mmmm dreamy looks (despite the age), magnetic screen prescence and brilliant acting with great performances by the other actors too, and you have a movie experience that is worth every second of its 90 minutes, and leaves you saying "Wow" at the end of it.

Loved it. Highly recommend it.

Cherry Blossoms in DC

Caught up with good friend and DC veteran DB who was down from CT for a work conference over the weekend. Drove into DC since it was the peak and inauguration of the famous Cherry Blossom Festival. It was a little cold as we parked at Hain's Point and took the shuttle to the Tidal Basin. It was so beautiful. White and pink cherry trees covered the expanse of the place, and as we got near the Jefferson Memorial by the side of the Tidal Basin, we could see the pink and white trees all around the basin. A complete treat. Throngs of people hanging out enjoying the famous blossoms.

Later, we had a fabulous dinner at our old favourite joint Lebanese Taverna, catching up on a gazillion different life topics. A great way to end a perfect evening.

Here are some pictures...from the official cherry blossom website for 2008...

It's a Beautiful Day

I go for a walk today. After weeks, its about sixty five degrees and just crying for a step out. So I put on my shoes and step outside and take a breath of fresh spring air - still a bit nippy, but completely refreshing.

As I walk through the quintessential American suburban neighbourhood, I see that Winter has transmorgrified (in Calvin's words) into Spring, and most of the trees are in bloom. The grass on the lawns is green once more. There are nests in the trees, and birds flying about. The weather is perfect. Not too sunny, and not at all cold. I walk on, energized.

I pause my Ipod for a moment, and listen to the Spring. I hear zillions of birds sounds. Calling to their mates, probably. Such sweet sounds they are. And so many different sounds. I walk past a little pond, and there are ducks swimming around in pairs. Along the banks, tonnes more flowers are growing.

I play my song once more. Eric Clapton is singing one of my all-time favourite "Let it Grow"

Im standin at the crossroads
Tryin to read the signs
To tell me which way I should
Go to find the answer
And all the time I know
Plant your love and let it grow.

Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun and in the snow
Love is lovely, let it grow.

Time is gettin shorter
And theres much for you to do,
Only askn you will get what you are needin,
The rest is up to you.
Plant your love and let it grow.

I look at the cherry trees in all their pink and white splendour. I look at the green grass and see miniscule violet, yellow and magenta flowers sprouting in between the long blades of grass. Everywhere, life is springing forth. I marvel at the little life that we have created ourselves. A miracle, no less. I am amazed and awed at the same time. I smile to myself.

It's a beautiful day.

Is it all about Timing?

They say it is all about timing. Stock markets, real estate markets, promotions, personal life decisions. They say that everything is about timing when to do what, when to make the most of what happens. They say you can make it or break it depending on the timing of events and decisions in your life. Is it? Can you?

I wonder...I haven't thought about this much until now. I am the sort of person who plans for everything in life. I live by a mental check-list of things I need to do and by when I need to get them done. Unplanned events are OK, as long as I have a plan on how to deal with them :) Almost all of the important events in my life have been planned...or so I like to think.

I look at people who live their lives by the seat of their pants, and sometimes, very occasionally, I envy them, but for the life of me, I cannot be like that. So, I have to know how to deal with every situation, weigh the pros and cons, and make the best choice under the circumstances. But what about timing...do I specifically pay attention to that? And how much of a role has it played in my life....?

I think it has played a big role, given everything. I think I am where I am, doing what I am, because of the timing of events in the past. Some of these events just happened at those times, others I made happen at those times. Together, it has landed me where I am. I acknowledge that, and am happy about it. Often times, we tend to point fingers at fate dealing us a set of circumstances, but isn't it also about what we do to deal with it, and importantly, when we deal with it? True, we cannot foresee the timing of future events in our life, but then, we always have had only the present and the past to work with.

Someone told me today that Life is all about timing. This is a person struggling with complex life and work decisions. I think of all the complex personal and professional situations I have been in in my own life, and the part that timing has played in them. Maybe its time to take stock of them, make peace with them, and learn a few lessons for the future.

Back after a Hiatus

It's been a long while since I came to these parts...lots of things happenning...life changes, work changes, and yes this winter :-) I am more convinced than ever that I am a Summer person. I was born in the summer, my name literally means "Summer". Sunny personality? Maybe not all of the time, but hey, I am no morose creature either. One thing is for sure - I don't like the cold. It does nothing to alleviate my mood. Realized the importance of the Sun this winter which seems to be relentlessly going on...

So waiting for spring, the warmth of the sun, and the inevitable uplifting of the spirit that it brings.

Two Kinds of People

My good friend and esteemed colleague He-Man and I had a most interesting conversation the other day. On one of our usual coffee and a tete-a-tete sessions, He-Man announced with a rather serious face that in Q4 '07, a realization dawned on him, as clear as the light of day.

He said that he firmly believes that all of the people in the world can be divided into exactly two categories. The first group, he postulated - contains the 'Acquisition' minded people. These people, he claims, know exactly what they want out of life, and what they need to do to get what they want, and how they need to do it. And they simply acquire other people as they go along - people who will help them get what they want. And they do it ruthlessly. With the utmost confidence in their capabilities, wasting no time on people or things that will not help them achieve what they want.

The second group of people are the ones that get acquired by the first group. Mind you, He-Man cautioned, these people are not losers, they are not pathetic junkies or flunkies that get only the raw end of the deal. They can be successful (after all, success is relative, now isn't it?), they can be happy with their lives. BUT, they get acquired by the Acquition people. The Acquired usually are seen ambling along, making friends here and there, making banter, indulging in this and that, here and there. They have goals, they have ambitions, but they take their own sweet time getting to them, if at all. They are smart, and intelligent and hard working, but they also have a super heightened sense of ethics, and usually a fair burden of emotional involvement in all their dealings. The Acquisition people devour them, always to their own end. And they dont have a single qualm about it. What's more, they apply the same principle to every aspect of their life.

He-Man listed all the names of people on our team that fell into the two categories. Amazingly, he was right. It was true. The people fit the categorization like a glove to a hand.

I thought this was a most interesting way to describe the fundamental difference between people. BUT - I wondered if it was overly simplified. What if, it was possible to strike a balance between the two categories. What if the first step was to simply be sure which category you belong to, and then see if being that way is good for the different areas of your life? Was it even possible? Further, is it absolutely horrible if you are not an Acquisition person? Are you doomed for an ordinary, mediocre life with no hope of reaching the stars? I want to badly say 'No, of course, not!', but He-Man is so sure of his theory, that he will bet his bottom dollar on it. You are either born with it, or you have to do something so drastic and groom and train yourself so specifically to get it, he believes.

Interesting. I know I am going to be using this lens on everyone I know or meet for a while at least. :-)

Joy to the World

No, it wasn't a 'White Christmas' around here, but it sure was freezing. You walk through or drive through neighbourhoods and you see houses lit with lights (the electric kind of course). Some of them are really elaborate, with huge X-Mas scenes enacted outside on the front lawns....complete with glowing reindeer, Santa on the sleigh, and of course there are Christmas trees with all of their decorations everywhere. In some way, the whole scene is reminiscent of a huge festival like Diwali back home. I guess Christmas is pretty much the only festival celebrated in this way around here.

Everywhere, on TV, on the radio, in the malls...everywhere, the same 4 Christmas songs are played again and again and again. As my good friend A recently remarked exasperatedly - Everyone from Frank Sinatra to Beyoncee has their version of the same songs. Seriously, why couldnt they have come up with more songs? It gets to a point where you start to hear those same opening bars, and you start saying "Aargh" :-). This time though, I have become a little immune to it, I think.

In any case, Christmas has come and gone and here's wishing everyone for the occasion. Two more days to go before the new year begins.

Warm wishes from the bottom of my heart for the best that it can bring to all of you.

And then there was Light

I landed in Bangalore on the day of Deepavali. This was the first time I had timed my visit to co-incide with the festival since I left home a few years ago. Needless to say, there was an unbelievable amount of excitement both on my side as well as my family's. The flight landed in the wee hours of the morning, which lent well to the traditional "yenne shaastra" (or oil bath ritual), which is the customary early morning cleansing of the body on this most auspicious occasion.


Deepavali is arguably one of the most important Hindu festivals in India. For one, it is celebrated by all denominations of the Hindu religion and also throughout India (both North and South) at the same time. Interestingly - in Northern India, the return of Lord Rama from exile after defeating Ravana is the supposed cause for the jubilation, while in the South, it is Lord Krishna's vanquishing of the evil demon Narakasura that is the cause of celebration. The fact is that the whole country celebrates the festival, more or less. And in the merry-making which includes good food, sweets and fire-works (plenty of it), a lot of non-Hindus also participate.

In any case, I was totally looking forward to experiencing this festival at home. Mom had prepared the tastiest of sweets and food. Friends and relatives called to wish us. It is a time when people remember each other, I guess. And when evening time came, we did what we've always done for years. We lit little diyas (small earthen oil lamps) and placed them outside the main door of the house, and along the compound wall, etc. Other houses in the neighbourhood were doing the same, and it is such a beautiful sight, I tell you. It really is one of my personal favourite activities of the festival. The significance is even more beautiful - you want the lamps to light the way for luck, health and prosperity into your home. Light over darkness. Good over evil.

As usual, no fireworks for us. As little children, G and I decided that we are not going to "burn" money on firecrackers and also not contribute to the immense pollution that fireworks cause to the environment. That simply holds true this year as well.

What we did do, however, was climb up the stairs to the terrace, and then the additional ladder to the absolute top of the house. Even Mom made this somewhat precarious trip, and soon, the whole family was on the terrace with a pretty darned good view of the south of Bangalore. And what a sight it was! It was night now, and everyone was in true Deepavali mode. Soon enough, there were fireworks all over the place - rockets shooting upwards and then bursting into splashes of colour. Bombs exploding from all directions. Because we were at an elevation, we could see colourful fireworks in all directions. I think this is a very very indigenous experience. You have to be there to see how it looks, and feel how it feels. You cannot really explain to an outsider the scale on which this festival is celebrated.

Newer and more colourful rockets seem to have sprung up. I was told that some of them cost upwards of a couple of thousand rupees each! I cannot believe that so many people were paying so much for a couple of seconds of fun. Literally burning up money.

We spent a good deal of time there, catching the lights of the city, and talking, laughing, sharing jokes and stories. After that, it was a traditional Deepavali dinner. The fireworks continued through the rest of the night.

I know I will remember and cherish this Festival of Lights I spent with my family this year.

Who and What you are...and Will be...

"Scrape below the skin and we're flesh and bone; scrape below that and we're code."
~ "Decode your DNA", Thomas Goetz, Wired, December 2007

Apparently, now, for just a mere $1000, one can have a peek into one's genetic code (or genome), and instantly see not just where one came from in terms of genetics, but also where one is headed - also in terms of genetics. What this means to lay persons is that you can now see your genetic make-up, and your ancestors' genetic make-up, who in your ancestral lineage you are most like (so, for example, do you take up after your father's side of the family, or your mother's, etc) and what kind of gene codes you possess, in turn telling you what kind of risk you are at for countless number of physiological conditions, illnesses, and diseases.

This is a brand new industry - as a potential customer, you spit into a vial and the company (in this case, the name of the pioneering company is 23andMe) then scans your DNA, and it spits out your history and your future, which, some early testers and adapters have described as "simultaneously unsettling, illuminating and empowering". Apparently, this kind of "retail genomics" will help people adopt personalized medicine. So, knowing you are at 20% more risk for heart disease than the average individual because your maternal grandfather was at 40% more risk than the average individual and he, in all his blessed ignorance, has passed on that very particular gene marker onto you, his dear grandchild, will now mean that you really should not wait until you are 50 to go easy on the cholestrol intake. It means that you can start worrying about it NOW, and take preventive measures NOW.

How nice. Just what we needed, I think. More information overload.

But, the author of this most interesting article states - this thing should not so easily be dismissed. There is something in this, he claims. This is the first time in history, that such information is even available to the ordinary person. One can not just look backwards at one's lineage, but explore relationships with other ethnic groups around the world. Family members can share profiles, trace origins of particular traits and compare genes through DNA networking. Its just a new way for people to access information about themselves, he says.

And what is more fascinating, is that so far, only the surface has been scratched. The kind of information that 23andMe is capable of giving customers is based on sequencing only a small part of the entire human genome. In the near future, it is expected that the price of scrutinizing and sequencing a human's entire genome (some 6 billion or so pieces of information) will fall so drastically, that more personalized information will become available to whoever is eager to receive it.

I wonder though, whether this whole thing bodes well for us and our lifestyles. Sure, knowing that I am risk for some radical disease might be helpful if I dont absolutely know that any of my ancestors has ever had it. Or even a known disease for that matter. If I already know, for instance, that my paternal grandpa died of a heart-attack, and therefore I am by default at risk for it - and if my genome sequence (after I shell out $1000) confirms that I am at x% risk for heart disease - what am I going to do next? Am I going to worry that the general population is only (x-y)% at risk, unlike me? The bigger question is, am I going to alter the way I live because of this information? Am I going to ask my doctor to start treating me NOW, for conditions I might encounter in the future? How much am I going to worry about all of the new found information? Dont I have enough to worry about as it is.....

Dont get me wrong - I do find the whole concept of genetics rather fascinating. Imagine seeing all of that millions of bits of information from microscopic elements. Actually, even what companies like 23andMe are doing is mighty ground-breaking. From an interest and intellectual curiosity perspective, its an amazing break-through for science.

The only question I have is - are we necessarily going to be better-off with all that new information about ourselves?

Mr. Sun's 4:00 'o' clock appearance

I am sitting in my cube, which happens to be a corner cube on the 7th floor of the building. So I am surrounded by huge sprawling windows on 2 sides outside my cube. Even though the heating system inside the building is doing its job well and it is warm, you can see how chilly it is outside, especially since I do have a pretty good view of the outside from where I sit.

Suddenly, the sun comes out. For whatever reason, it decides to shine quite brightly, and suddenly, golden rays filter through the expanse of glass, casting a warm glow through the space. Ummm...I can feel the warmth on my face as I turn to look outside. Its been cloudy the whole day, not to mention the near-freezing temperatures, and this sunny break is such a treat.

Ok, that was nice. Now, its back to work, I guess.

Life and Death and Something in Between

An uncle who recently lost his wife to a rare and out-of-the-blue illness finds the strength to go about his daily life, be the father his young children now desperately need, and be the brilliant pediatrician his patients and the world in general needs. Thinking about how dark his private moments must be (in public and with people, he still finds his sense of humour, never betraying the sense of loss we all know he must be going through), I feel a restriction in my chest...and I question how one deals with such situations.

He himself presented the answer without being asked.

In a gathering of close family, he stood up, thanked everyone for coming and supporting him and his children, and then said something I will never ever forget. He said, "Here is my philosophy in life - I believe that pain is a given. But I also believe that suffering is our choice."

A good friend commented on one of my earlier posts on Faith - he said that maybe all that Faith is is an antidote to helplessness. Maybe so.

But maybe also, it is a lifeline that keeps you moving forward, when every single one of the chips is down.

Ad for Thought

Was browsing through the latest edition of 'Wired' and found this full page Audi Ad. Accompanying a picture of a rather fabulous looking car (Audi R8) are these 2 statements:

1/2 Truth: Behind every status symbol and luxury badge is a good product.

Full Truth: Good is the enemy of great.

My thoughts? - So creative. So damn true.

:-)

Princely Game This One...

It was back in the early 90's, when both G and I were teenagers (actually I was barely a teenager and G was 9 or 10) that a handsome young prince entered our lives. This prince was strong and brave. He was fearless, had blonde hair and rippling muscles. He was as athletic as ever and immensely intelligent to boot. He was the Prince of Persia. And he would go to absolutely any lengths to save his damsel in distress from the evil Sultan.

The only catch was that all the prince's actions were to be initiated and controlled by G and I, via 6 keys on the computer keyboard.

Think back to a time when there was no "Windows" (I know, its unthinkable!!). Really, that was a time when people did not even have PC's at home. And the only reason G and I had made such good friends with the Prince was thanks to our cousin, who taught Computers and had a spare PC at home, with the super-fantastic Prince of Persia loaded on it. So, whenever we would go visiting, G and I made an immediate beeline for the now archaic box, turned it on, and typed "Prince" at the command prompt. Yes, it was all DOS back then, think black screen...

What a game. What absolute fun it was, to get the Prince to cross barriers, fight prison guards, run through and dodge spiky prison bars, identify potions, poisons, etc etc...A set of obstacles would get him through to the subsequent higher level, where the challenges would be tougher. We had to learn along with the Prince. Each new level had absolutely new dangers that we initially had no idea how to solve. How many trials and errors there were...how many frustrations when Prince would be killed and we had to start all over...how many cheers and celebrations when Prince made it to higher and higher levels...each level taking him closer to that final level where he would have to fight the Sultan himself to save his fair maiden!!

What I remember with amazement is the precision graphics, animations and sound quality of the game. Given that it was entirely DOS based, and it was all in black and white (we didnt have the luxury of a colour monitor), it was really so incredibly well made. There was not a boring moment, as there were so many variables through each step that the Prince had to take.

Years later, we chanced upon a windows version of the classic game, and saw the usual zings and zangs of modern animation. Prince the game was all colourful and jazzed up with the latest in special effects. Somehow, the classic DOS version still pulled at our heart strings.

Just the other day, G and I were remembering the handsome Prince and all the little features of the game. We remembered how much fun we had, the evils the prince fought at each stage, the triumphs. We were both so glad that Prince in all his DOS version glory was a part of our childhood. We both wondered if we could get a chance to download that same black and white classic version once more.

Prince of Persia - a true blue classic.

Country Roads

As I drove through the country-side in South Canara (where I am from originally), I looked on appreciatively at the scenery around me - where there was no road, there were palm trees. Bunches of coconuts hang on these trees - with the sweetest of water and even sweeter soft white flesh that almost melts in the mouth waiting to be consumed. The coconut itself finds its way into innumerable South Canara dishes.

Tiny houses with sloped tiled roofs dot the expanse of palm trees. Many of these houses are on the edges of patches of paddy fields. These paddy fields are a visual treat - beautifully green (especially now, just after the monsoons) and extend across the country-side with little bunds separating different farmers' fields.

Occasionally, we drive past fields and suddenly we are on a bridge, crossing a river that is sure to be one of the myriad tributaries that eventually flow into the Kaveri, Krishna or Tungabhadra.

Sahasthana - beautiful as the above was to see all along the way, I was spell-bound when we reached a place called Sahasthana. Here, there is a large river that extends for almost half a kilometer in width. As we crossed the bridge, the early morning sun shimmered on the surface of the river, giving it an ethereal quality. There were a few islands in the middle of the river. Several boatmen (these are tiny boats with a couple of men rowing with wooden oars) dotted the river here and there, spreading their nets out from their boats. I could not get enough of the untouched beauty of the place. Once again I regretted not being good with my camera to capture the scene.

I rolled down the windows and took a deep breath of that coastal air that I so vividly associate with all my trips to Mangalore. Sahasthana is a fantastic testament to the untouched beauty of rural India. I sincerely hope it will stay that way for a long, long time.

Faith

What is faith? I ask this question to myself from time to time, and usually either ponder for a while and give up, or find some explanation to satisfy myself temporarily. But I keep coming back to it...and often I do so when I see people in adversity find the strength and the philosophy to get through their trials. When my own mind grapples with difficult issues and questions, or I am just disturbed for whatever reason, I wonder what it takes to believe, actually believe that it shall be okay.


Can faith heal anything? Can it aleviate pain? How do you go about acquiring faith? More importantly, faith in what? God? Karma? Some higher power? The irrevocable plan of destiny? Inner strength?

Some of us believe that a combination of random events and the choices and decisions we make along the way shape our life as we know it, but I have also come to believe that it is important to have faith, in whatever form or shape.

Human beings have been known to do amazing things because of their faith. How do people get their faith? Some people pray incessantly to their God. Some people make temple visits, bodily and physical offerings to their God. Some people meditate, train their mind to help the process. Some people believe that social service and serving their fellow human beings in need is the answer.

Even though I still struggle with the question of what form faith should take for me personally, it is because of the very faith I have that I will find it eventually, that makes it worthwhile to even try.

The Breeze from the Sea

This is a short story that I wrote a few years ago. It is a sad story, and I do not believe that anything in particular inspired me to write it. I just had an idea one day, and in a fit of inspiration, I penned it down...

The Breeze from the Sea

The breeze blew in from the sea. The sun was almost below the horizon. The sand beneath us was still warm. Ram sat there quietly next to me. I didn’t quite know what he was thinking…I was afraid to ask…I looked over at the horizon. A few boats were still at sea, no doubt attempting to catch a last batch of fish before returning home…I looked over to the far side of the beach at the few children who were playing in the twilight…the familiar grief engulfed my heart once again…I looked at Ram…if only I knew what he was thinking…

Children playing…a bat, and a ball and makeshift wickets from tree branches…Suraj played the game with all the ferocity of every Indian boy obsessed with the ideology, the religion that is cricket…Suraj, who went on to captain his school and college cricket teams, and who almost made it through the state team selections…I remember how disappointed he was when he didn’t qualify…Suraj, who then channeled his energy into academics instead, and who graduated with honors and won a scholarship to a prestigious university in the UK…Suraj, who wrote a letter titled “Dearest Amma…” every week without fail…Suraj, who never could really understand the rift that grew between Ram and me as the years passed….I was busy with my teaching career, and Ram moved from job to job…often disgruntled with life, dissatisfied and cynical…my growing discontent with him…the love, and understanding we once shared seemed to be fading away…I thought of him as an inadequate husband, and an inadequate father…

I immersed myself in my work…that and my son were the only important things in my life.

Soon, I didn’t even have anything to say to Ram anymore…and I moved to my sister’s place. He didn’t stop me. I missed Suraj terribly, but he had just been hired by a big multinational firm, and could not take the time off to come to India. I pined for him. Life was lonely, but at least I had my work. I still got a letter every single week…until…that fateful, horrible day when Ram came to fetch me from my school…I just knew that something terrible had happened…they explained to me that it was a freak motor accident, involving an oil tanker. I didn’t want the details. I asked God a million times to take me away too. I could not eat, could not sleep, could not work. I met no one, spoke to no one…

I was more than surprised to see Ram at my sister’s gate that evening, and inwardly shocked but detached when he asked whether we could walk to the beach…I had not spoken to him since the accident…I did not know what to say to him…

We walked in total silence for a long time. Finally, we sat down on the warm sand to watch the sun go down. Suraj loved the beach as a child. He would build sand castles, and play in the waves, and run around looking for crabs and shells…

A cool breeze blew in from the sea. The setting sun lent its brilliant colors to the evening sky. Ram was quiet beside me. I looked at him. I suddenly thought to myself…here is the man I once loved and cherished, the man who helped bring Suraj into this world…here is the man I put below every other priority in life for so long…suddenly the reasons for all of that were not important any more…suddenly, the grief that held me captive eased just a little bit…suddenly I knew that Ram and I at least had each other…

Wordlessly I reached for his hand. He grasped it so tightly, it almost hurt. In the distance, a dog and a child played together. The waves lapped gently against the sand. The sun was down for the day. The fishing boats were back now. Together we stood up, dusting the sand from our clothes. I turned to say something to him…to explain, to apologize, to share my grief, to ask him to share his…but I could not say anything…not just yet…

In the cool of the evening breeze, Ram looked at me, still holding my hand, and said simply, “Come, let us go home…”

It's All Fall(ing) Down

Sometime around Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, a switch went off. As I drove my car out of the garage on my way to work, I almost braked to a screeching halt. Suddenly, there was a splash of Fall colours all OVER the place. Autumn had announced its arrival. Trees that were green previously were now covered in colourful foliage. There were Reds, Oranges and Yellows...and a zillion colours in-between. The resulting effect is a treat to the eyes. You dont know where to look because each tree with its brilliant colour lends itself to the tree next to it which is a totally different colour. Such a visual treat. There is more to come, I believe. Now, there are still greens here and there. In a week or two, it will all be replaced by brilliant reds, oranges and yellows.

It is unbelievable that in a month or so, all of these leaves will have fallen down to make way for the wintery snow. And then a couple of months after that will come spring, and there will be flowers on all the trees. And a couple of months from there, everything will be green once more. The cycle of nature. The circle of life. We are truly blessed to be a part of it.

Horsing Around

Venue: Verizon Center in the heart of Washington DC
Event: Washington International Horse Show

Watching the equestrian event from Capital One's executive suite sure felt like a novelty. Free food and drinks, comfortable leather seats and a bird's eye view of the happennings in the arena below felt nice. Soon enough, out came the lovely horses, so fabulously groomed, ridden by their jockey riders.

First the kids rode their horses somewhat tentaively over the hurdles. Some horses made the vaults beautifully, and some were a little nervous. Finally the winner in this category was announced.

The next event was a surprise and a complete delight. Terrier Racing! Suddenly there were 20 or so terrier dogs being led into the arena on leashes and the dogs were just going nuts! Not sure if it was the crowds that were cheering that made them so hyper or whether they were fed something just before they were brought out, but they were barking their heads off and raring to be let off their leashes and run all over the place. Hyper!

Soon enough, obstacles were set up and an artificial tail (that represented a fox tail) and attached to a string was dangled temptingly in front of the dogs, and used as the incentive for the race. And what a race it was! Those dogs are FAST, and hyper and hell-bent on catching the fox (little do they know its only a tail)!! All in all, the races were funny to watch, and the dogs were cute.

The dogs may have been cute, but it was the horses that stole the show. With their breath taking beauty. Such fabulous animals, I tell you. So graceful and strong and a pleasure to watch. I would have loved to have come in close contact, touch them, maybe attempt a ride myself? :) But I had to be content with just watching another one of the equestrian rounds, with the horses and their adult riders this time vaulting over fairly high obstacles in the graceful manner that is also somewhat hypnotic to watch.

Like I said, tickets in the executive suite courtesy Capital One felt nice. Now if only I can get hold of some to a basketball game. Now wouldnt that be fun?!

An evening of watching horses was followed by dinner at Tabaq's, a cozy roof-top mediterranean bistro. A cool breeze, candle-light and a pretty good view of the city (we could see the lit Washington Monument, Capitol Building, etc) made for an excellent evening.

Watching What You Eat

It may be because of the inescapable fact that age plays an increasingly significant role in the health equation as years go by. It may be because of the increased awareness I have lately of both my mind and my body. It may be because I have finally realized that in that same health equation I allude to, diet and exercise are so inextricably intertwined, that it doesnt matter how much you work out until you also get your diet in order and it doesnt matter how much you diet until you also engage in a consistent, holistic exercise program.

The bottom line is that I can finally vouch for the fact that I can almost completely control my well-ness by eating right.

The reason I am getting particularly vocal about this is that, strangely enough, of late, I have been able to observe almost immediate reactions of my body to what I consume. Without getting into the details of exactly what I observe (lest the reader is turned off partially or completely!), I see reactions to what I eat, mostly within a couple of days at least. And if the results are negative, I kick myself for giving in to temptation (these are usually in the chocolate/desert category - I find them irresisitible), or too much sodium/preservatives/grease/oil/extra spicy food which comes mostly from eating out.

On the flip and more positive side - eating well also lets me see tangible benefits, although these are not always that pronounced, takes longer to observe and worst of all - takes more attempts to observe the benefits. To explain - it takes only one or two rich dessert indulgences to see an extra pound or two, some blotchy skin, and unwanted digestive effects almost within a couple of days of consumption, whereas - it takes much, much longer bouts of eating a balanced diet with fruits/veggies/fiber/protein/carb (and this also ensures the required and healthy supply of vitamins and minerals our body needs) to start seeing the good effects. BUT, when I DO start seeing them, its an incredibly amazing feeling. I feel great, energetic, and healthy. My skin glows and the tiredness around my eyes disappears, and my mind, seeing and feeling these positive effects, also feels well. Of course, all of this, coupled with my consistent Yoga and gym sessions leads to an overall sense of extreme well being. Doesnt get better. All of this is unbelievably beneficial when work related stress is also playing its part in the equation.

I read somewhere a long time ago that the habits we cultivate in our early to mid twenties are the ones that end up lasting through the rest of our lives. Given I am no longer in my early or mid twenties, I am at least thankful I am almost obsessing about this issue now. I am determined to do my part in ensuring a healthy life for me and my family. I have no doubt about it - I am what I eat.

As they say at Kaiser Permanente - Live well, be well, thrive. Should apply to each one of us, methinks.

New York New York

Went up to the Big Apple recently, and as usual, the city proved to be an exciting weekend getaway. The energy of the place is so unique and motivates you to get up, get out and make the most of it. At the end of the day, I know I want to return to my suburban life, plenty of walking/jogging/breathing space, place to park my car, quiet and solitude, but ever so often...NYC is a fantastic place to go to and have some fun. Of course, what makes it more worthwhile is catching up with our good friends, A & R...always feels great to meet up with old friends and chill out.

This time, all four of us caught a couple of interesting events. One was an evening of Sitar by Ustaad Raais Khan. Well, actually it was A and I who spearheaded the idea (what with being Hindustani vocalists and all that), and R and P, being the good sports that they are, tagged along. What we thought would be an evening of a reknowned Ustaad performing ended up being an evening of the Ustaad performing to some extent and then making his son perform the rest of the time. Now this son was a real joker who clearly was not in the same league as his dad, and started displaying major attention seeking gimmicks (he obviously thought that he was loaded with talent) and pretty soon we started getting pissed that the Ustaad was not playing and that the son was. What made it outright unbearable was the jugalbhandi's or duet performances in which the son clearly was playing near nonsense and was completely shadowing any talent that the father was inclined to portray. If you think I am exaggerating, get this - after a while the Ustaad himself realized how much the son was hurting the show, and would tell him to stop playing while he attempted to salvage the situation with some brilliance of his own. Even then, the son would not give up and would make every attempt to join in the middle at which point the Ustaad would angrily slap his hand trying to make him stop. By this point our disappointment and anger at the son turned into being totally entertained and we could barely keep from laughing conspicously. In any case, we got what we wanted and more - an evening of Hindustani music and a comedy show all rolled in one!!

The other event we caught was on Broadway. Now, this is my second Broadway show and I am more impressed each time. Its just fantastic. I used to be a fan of the theatre in Bangalore and have caught many plays even in Los Angeles and Washington DC. But they are just not in the league of Broadway. The show we had tickets for was 'Tarzan'. Well, the story itself would be what we knew it would be...but we were totally unprepared for the special effects, the costumes, the lighting effects, the acrobatics, and the choreography. The whole show highlights the senses, and involves the audience (with actors coming in and out from all over the auditorium). Imagine this - in one scene, the wall at the back of the stage was used like it was the floor, and the actors were performing while being strung on cables obviously and to us the audience it was like we were viewing them from the top....what an amazing effect. It is a holistic sensory delight - the sights and sounds are brilliant...the use of props and special effects can bring in vivid scenes from anywhere onto a stage a few feet in square footage.

Two years ago when I caught 'Hairspray' - also with A and R, I was amazed. 'Tarzan' was different, but equally brilliant. I would highly recommend Broadway to anyone.

Five days on an island

The plane looked like it was going to land right in the turquoise water but at the last minute there came in sight a tiny landing strip out of nowhere. We had landed on St. Thomas, and we had left behind intense work weeks, stress and the regular regular and were looking forward to five days on an island.

St. Thomas is one of three US Virgin Islands (St. John and St. Croix are the other two), and it is 13 miles long and 7 miles wide. It is very hilly and the roads are very windy and narrow (2 lanes only), and it is surrounded by the Caribbean Sea on one side and the Atlantic Ocean on the other. Nearby are the British Virgin Islands. At any spot on the island either at an elevation or within reasonable distance from the shore, the views are absolutely breath-taking, and as we drove our rental car from the airport to the condo we were renting for the 5 days, we came across views that were stunningly beautiful.

The island, although a part of the US, has a completely unique flavour of its own. The people are a mix of whites (from the US, Europe, etc) and people of African origin (whose ancestors had originally been brought to the island as slaves by the early Danish settlers on the island, to work in the sugarcane plantations.) And then there are tourists such as ourselves. The islanders have a cute caribbean accent and using the word 'laid-back' to define them would be an understatement. They move slowly, they talk slowly, they answer questions slowly, and would rather have a siesta any time of the day than do anything else really. Well, in any case, we were all set to enjoy our time, unwind and soak up some Caribbean fun.

The beaches of St. Thomas

There are many, many beaches on St. Thomas and most of them are pretty spectacular. The condo we were staying in had a fantastic view from the balcony, and we were privy to blue blue seas, a beautiful beach (Sapphire Bay Beach), a marina which docked boats, and islands in the distance, tiny ones dotting the blue Caribbean surface as well as St. John.

One morning we drove to Magen's Bay Beach, which, according to National Geographic, ranks as one of the ten most beautiful beaches in the world. And it was. Absolutely amazing. Picture this - white sand, aquamarine waters, no rocks, no waves (this is at least partly due to the beach being surrounded by land pieces jutting out into the ocean on two sides, forming a bay, or large cove, and because of this, the beach is like a giant swimming pool, with very calm, serene water. Ideal for splashing and swimming around. And we could not get enough of the views.

Keep to the Left!!

We laughed when the car rental official, our condo owner and other literature warned us to drive on the LEFT side of the road. Of course, we would drive on the left side...come on, what are we..imbeciles who dont understand what that means? Well, we rented our car and took off, driving across the island towards our condo. All the roads on the island are just two lanes, and very windy, going up and down hills. Takes a bit of concentration, especially the first time. So, we were navigating between maps and hilly, windy roads...and made a wrong turn. Realizing this, we stopped the car, and decided to mae a U-turn. Having made the U-turn, we found ourselves on the right side of the road, and it didnt feel wrong. In the next instant, a car was hurtling towards us in our lane, and at the last possible instant, reflexes of both drivers averted what would have been a scary and a totally unwanted start to our vacation. Phwew!

Hiking on St. John

On another day, we took a ferry from the town of Red Hook to the island of St. John, which is less inhabited and more untouched than St. Thomas. Here, our plan was to hike down the Reef Run trail, which is a famous trail through the tropical forest of St. John, which housed many of the sugarcane plantations a few hundred years ago, trek all the way down to an abandoned sugar mill, and finally end up on the beach, and then hike back up. To get to the point where the trail starts, is about 4 miles from where our ferry docked. We found an eager taxi driver who offered to take us up there. As he is driving up the winding roads, suddenly he stops right in the middle of the road, gets out, crosses the street to a dumpster, removes a cardboard box, brings it back to the taxi and places it under a seat and gets back into the driver seat and drives on. And we were wondering what the hell just happened. We concluded that we just dont understand these islanders and their eccentricities. :)

We hiked down Reef run trail, and saw abandoned slave quarters, myriad tropical trees and plants along the way, and petroglyphs (carvings in stone made by the Tainos, the very first inhabitants of the Virgin Islands who came up from South America on barges made from tree trunks, some 700 miles in the Caribbean ocean with no navigation aids - sometime around 700 B.C.) Amazing.

Charlotte Amalie

On another day, we drove into Charlotte Amalie and the historic downtown district of St. Thomas. The town itself has been pretty well preserved to give tourists a sense of history, old buildings kept the way they are, etc...and this, with the fabulous views (which are somewhat strangely accentuated by the humungus cruise ships that dock near the harbour), makes for a very good morning of touristy stuff....even though the day is incredibly hot, and within an hour of walking around with the tour guide, we are dripping with perspiration. Some shopping (St. Thomas is duty and tax free!), and lunch in a very darling little local cafe and we drive back to our quiet little end of the island.


Birds in the Sky

On the last day, we drove to Coki Beach, and signed up for parasailing. Within an hour, we were being given instructions and life-jackets. Pretty soon, the boat we were on was in the middle of the ocean, and we found ourselves standing at the edge, all ready to be released into the air. Above us was the huge colourful balloon, that would assist in buoying us up into the air. One, two and THREE - zzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp....the boatman released the cord, and the balloon took off into the sky, and because we were strapped in it, we took off as well......a moment's sheer exhilaration soon gave way to wonderment, as we were being lifted higher and higher up, thanks to more cord being released by the boatman way below and the soaring balloon above us....soon we were 300 metres up in the sky, and the boat was a tiny speck in the ocean below us....what a FANTASTIC view!!!!!!!!! The blue caribbean all around us, but also the myriad islands dotting it....we could see miles and miles around us....suddenly I looked directly below me and I saw that we were above a coral reef near the surface of the ocean....and guess what?!! We actually saw a turtle swimming around in it....it looked so awesome! After a few minutes, we started descending and realized that our trip in the sky was coming to an end...but it was so well worth it!!

When we left St. Thomas at the end of the fifth day...it felt like we knew the island so well....and the memory of its gorgeous beauty will be with me forever...

Softie

The other day I was talking to a friend, and somehow the conversation landed on the subject of Softie icecreams. Immediately I was transported back in time in my mind - back oh, about 10- 15 years, when there used to be a special machine in a special cart on MG Road and Brigade road, with the cart-wallah selling softie icecreams. It used to be plain vanilla flavoured icecream that came out of a special contraption, and because of that, it used to be really soft and fluffy - hence the name. It used to be just a small quantity in a small cone. And it used to literally melt in the mouth. Memory has it (but I could be wrong) that the company that made it was Kwality Icecreams. And it was quite the rage, I remember. I remember many a time when friends and I would come out of a movie from Rex, or Galaxy or Plaza, and treat ourselves to a softie icecream.

I have not seen the little carts with the softie icecream makers on any of my recent trips back to Bangalore. In fact, I dont remember them being around for many years before I left Bangalore. Why did they disappear?

Those were simpler times, I now feel. Times when a simple vanilla softie icecream could be a big deal. Now, when I feel like an icecream, I have to first think about the calories, and how many gym sessions it will take to undo the damage, and then, if temptation gets the better of me, I have about three hundred different flavours and combinations to choose from. The cones come in different shapes and forms (bowl shaped, twisted, coated with chocolate, or flavoured syrups). Then there are toppings you can add to the icecream - like nuts, cookie pieces, chocolate pieces, coloured sprinklies, cherries, and so on and so forth. Then there are the different types of nuts (walnuts, hazel nuts, pecans, etc). Finally, there is the option of whipped cream, chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, etc. It takes several minutes to go through all the options with the person putting the icecream together. For Goodness sake, I just want something simple.

Like maybe a vanilla softie icecream cone....

Peace

It was fairly early in the morning and I drew aside the drapes from the windows which span the entire side of the living and dining rooms...it was a gorgeous day and the sun rays filtered instantly through the clear windows.


I sipped my cuppa and opened the news paper, idly browsing through the head lines. After a few minutes of reading, I looked up, for no particular reason. What I saw is basically what I describe in the rest of this blog. I saw the Buddha. And I was spell bound for an instant.


Let me explain, before you start wondering. I sat on the couch with my back to the aforementioned windows. When I looked up, my sight fell on a statue of the Buddha that sits on the mantle above the fireplace. This is a beautifully sculpted statue, made of solid bronze and admired by many. Among all of my nick-nacks (and I have many), this is one of my favourite. What is really striking about this Buddha is the detail of the carving - the Buddha's seated posture, His robe in folds, His facial expression. So the aforementioned sunlight streamed in from behind me, and when I looked up, my eye caught the sight of a single ray of golden sunlight illuminating the Buddha. And the breath caught in my chest.


There was the Buddha, His face so serene and calm. He had the slightest smile on his face, as if to say - fret not, it shall be okay. I instantly remembered my 10th Std History text books, that talked of famous Buddha statues here and there, in this temple and that, and the qualities of the different Buddha statues. One detail seemed almost ubiquitious in all Buddha statues - the serene facial expression.


Yes! This was exactly how my Buddha looked to me on this seemingly ordinary morning. I have had this statue with me for years, but this was the first time I was paying so much attention to it. Looking at Him bathed in the sunlight, for an instant something powerful jumped out at me. I thought- if Buddha the statue was conveying these emotions and feelings to a normally non-religious entity caught in the everyday hustle and bustle, what must have Buddha the Man inspired all those thousands of years ago in the faithful following...In an instant, my mind's eye caught sight of what might have easily made Buddha the Man transcend that chasm between being merely mortal to being something much much more powerful...


In less than an hour, I was to down a hasty breakfast and head toward my work day which had several things waiting to be tackled. Soon enough, the minor and major stresses, the issues to be resolved, the things to be done would consume me. But - just for that tiny moment on this wonderful morning, when I looked at the calm and serene Buddha and his re-assuring smile, I felt a litle bit of peace. And it was a most wonderful feeling.

Murphy's Law

He looks at the digital clock on the dash board and cursed, well, in his own mild way - it was still a curse. He looks disgustedly at the multitude of automobiles all around him, literally parked on the freeway, moving at about an inch per half hour. The simple truth of the matter is that he is not going to make it.

After what seems like ages, and progress at cosmically slow proportions, he pulls into the gas station, for the mandatory fill up of the rental car. He swipes his credit card, dunks the fuel pump into the gas tank and takes a breath, still pissed at the traffic. 15 seconds later, he hears the 'thunk' of the pump coming out of the gas tank. What the --? Message flashes on the display of the gas pump - "Pump not working". Of all the dastardly luck!! He quickly jumps into the car and backs the car to the other gas pump. Pulling his wallet out for the second time, he swipes his card. The pump asks him to enter his zip code. He enters it. Message - "Invalid zip code". He cannot believe it. By this time, it feels like it has been 20 minutes since he entered the gas station although it is more like 5. However, every second is precious now if he is to make it. He makes a decision. To Hell with the gas. He needs to get going.

Off he goes, trying his best to zoom his way through more traffic. What is ordinarily a 45 minute drive to the airport is now exceeding an hour and half. Not good. He swerves into the Avis Rental Car Return, dashes into the office where the clerk charges him an additional 10 dollars for returning the car empty. In addition he gets a somewhat rolly-eyed "Pah these consultants, what do they care that their company foots the bill" look. As he is weathering that look, from the corner of his eye, he notices the Avis shuttle rolling away to the terminal. He has literally missed the bus! Holy Damnation....he waits for 10 minutes, grinding his teeth and convinced he will miss the flight as well.


The next Avis shuttle arrives, and he jumps on it and it takes him to the terminal, and he is finally dashing towards Security Check. There are two lines going through the baggage and people scanners. He joins the shorter line (of course now). This line is inching its way towards the scanners. Suddenly the line stops moving altogether, and peering into the scanning area, he sees the scanning official waiting for instructions from her boss on making random checks into people's luggage, in spite of the scanners. This check is really supposed to be a random event every now and then, but this is probably the official's first day on the job and she is all gung-ho about making that check on every person's bag. Every person in her line that is. Because the other line is now moving along with amazing speed, and people who were ahead of him are now through the check point and sauntering along to their gates. And so, every laptop bag, water bottle, tennis shoe and sock is checked for explosives, drugs and weapons of mass destruction.

After what seems like an eternity, he is finally through the security check (and he could not even make a ruckus, because then he would look "suspicious" what with being of Asian/East-Indian/Pakistani descent and all, and that would seal the deal on him missing the flight.) By now, there are barely 10 minutes for the flight to take off. Take-off mind you, not boarding. He could picture the stewardess serving coke and pretzels, and the lucky passenger sitting next to him reclining happily into the empty seat.

And so it comes to pass - our man is rushing like a crazed individual through what feels like miles and miles of the terminal to the gate, laptop bag, suitcase and jacket flying every which way as he blazes his way through the throngs. Some tiny part of his brain that is not absorbed in the madness thinks that life was really probably not meant to be this stressful, that this is all very wrong. Wrong, damn you, wrong!

Picture this - the airport official is closing the door leading to the plane entrance after the last boarding call, and he rushes at her looking completely befrazzled, sweaty, waving his boarding pass like a mad man. She opens the door and lets him through almost because of sheer fright.

He enters the plane. Last one of course, and of course everyone is staring at him. He finally finds his seat and sinks down, his legs giving away completely, not believing that he has actually made it. He wipes off the sweat and starts to breathe once more, and then there is the announcement - Bad weather in DC. Flight is delayed by a full hour.


Based on a true incident...

Idol Worship

This thing has me somewhat addicted. I diligently switch on my TV every week (not once but twice in the week - one day is the contest, and the next day is the results show). Silliness, really, because there is so much hoopla about nothing, but still I am addicted. This thing is called American Idol. And I tune in twice every single week.

Even though this show is a singing contest for young American wannabe's, it almost always turns into a popularity contest in which, each week, the American public votes its least favourite contestant out of the show. In the mean time, the rest of the "lucky" contestants (who claim that it is their life's dream to even BE on the show, forget about winning) belt out popular and sometimes not so popular numbers, throwing in "personality", quirks and silliness in an appeal to fans to text and repeatedly text their devotion so that they may survive another week on the show that claims that more people vote for the American Idol than for the American President.

What I really enjoy watching - and this actually has me rolling in laughter on my couch - is the initial part of the show where they basically open up the contest to anyone and everyone, people who turn up in the thousands to try their hand at what they think is singing. And the samples, oh the samples. All sorts of people, trying all sorts of things. And the poor judges (Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell) have to sit through that, and give their comments. And that is really hilarious, actually. Simon Cowell makes such mean remarks (and I think most of the donkeys trying to sing but actually braying really deserve some of those comments), and it makes for a bunch of laughs, every time.

The contestants who make it through all the initial rounds then have to sing each week and the country votes for their favourite. Even this bunch has its share of characters. Take for instance contestant Haley, who shows up each week in teeny tiny shorts and a back-less top and belts out something that borders on shrieking...she finally got voted off on account of the fact that she shows more skin than talent.

But the biggest character to date has been 17 year old Sanjaya Malakar, a somewhat emaciated Indian American (aka ABCD) who is actually really an awful singer. Somehow he made it to the top 12, and from that point on, he caught the public's fancy, and each week, in spite of his ridiculous hairdos, pathetic choice of songs, and really awful singing- gets voted in and stays on in the competition. Apparently teen and pre-teen girls in the country make up the bulk of his fan following. Still, that does not seem enough to keep him in the competition, but miracuoulsy, he stays each week. Some theories floating around, because EVERYBODY is obsessed with the question of "Just WHO is voting for Sanjaya" (here, please remember that we are talking about a public that in general, lives in its own cocoon of a world, not concerned with the real issues that are taking the rest of the world by storm, but really really concerned with the fairly useless set of events that rock their little cushiony world - like the fact that Donald Trump gave the alcoholic Miss USA a second chance at retaining the crown, or the fact that Sanjaya Malakar might just win American Idol). As I was saying, some theories are -

1. Howard Stern is campaigning for "Lets vote for the worst" on his radio shows that bring in Sanjaya's votes
2. Since Sanjaya is an Indian American, some call center in India has been commisioned to do nothing but call in again and again voting for Sanjaya

Anyway, like I was saying, in spite of the sheer silliness of this whole thing, I still tune in every single week to see what's happenning, and what will happen next. Lets hope that I stay away next season and do something more useful with the one hour of time. But for this season, there are exactly six contestants still left, and next week, two of them are going to get voted off. I'm wondering who they will be, and I have a few suspects.

Oh and by the way - Sanjaya got voted off last week. He was finally really just too awful for his own good. I'll miss him, that's for sure.

Win-T(e)rials & Win-T(e)ribulations

We had beautiful Fall Colours in October and November. Then the leaves started to fall. That was December. Balmy weather. Then came January. Still nice and sunny and cool at 60 degrees. What kind of winter was this, everyone asked? People still jogged on the streets in their tiny shorts, and middle aged pot bellied men still drove with their Mercedes convertible top down. Everyone was happy, including us. A friend cautioned - the average winter temperature always stays the same. If its warm now, there will be cold times. It always averages out, he said. We pah-ed his pessimistic talk and continued on our way.

Turns out, he was correct. Someone turned off the warm weather switch right about the 31st of January. Actually it was more like a shorted fuse, because almost immediately, there was wintery darkness and coldness and miserableness all in one.

And finally, last week there was the big storm. Paranoia set in about a week before. It made for all lunch conversations. The weather channel had a field week. The regular channels also took up the cause. Schools closed down. People took off from work (AKA worked from home). And yes, this time the snow did fall, the winds did blow. It was actually kind of beautiful when it was happenning (of course, I watched from a cozy indoor 72 degree spot). The white snow, softly fell, covering every visible surface like white powdery sugar coating.

Then came the fun part. After it was all over, we had to shovel the drive-way. Things we going against us -
1. Sub, Sub Zero temperatures
2. Cold wind blowing, which makes Point Number One look even worse
3. The afore-mentioned beautiful white snow, like white powdery sugar coating now had somehow transformed itself into hard, unrelenting ice
4. The plastic shovel (which we had to borrow from a kind neighbour), when making contact with the afore-mentioned ice, ricocheted back into the air with virtually no impact on the ice. It was like we were pummelling the ice with the shovel and nothing seemed to be happenning.

Things we had going for us-
1. Motivation - to get the damn thing shovelled, at least for one of the cars to be able to get out of the garage, or else we would be grounded until the temperatures rose and the snow melted of its own will (which was not going to happen for a long time)

I am glad to report that after what felt like a really long time, we finally finished the task, and lost a nose, 3 ears and half a lip to frost bite in the process. But Halleluja! We could finally drive the car in and out of the garage.

In less than a month, I have had enough of this Winter. I cannot wait for Spring.